How Does a Muslim Get Married?"**

# Marriage Etiquette in Islam: A Comprehensive Look at Islamic Traditions and Recommendations  

## Introduction  

Marriage in Islam is regarded as one of the most sacred and important social and religious institutions. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) described marriage as "half of the faith" for a believer and placed great emphasis on forming a family based on Islamic principles. This article provides a comprehensive examination of the etiquettes and traditions of marriage in Islam, analyzing various aspects of this sacred covenant from jurisprudential, ethical, and social perspectives.  

## Chapter 1: The Importance of Marriage in Islam  

### 1.1 Marriage as a Prophetic Tradition  

In Islam, marriage is not merely a natural human need but also an act of worship and a tradition of the prophets. The Holy Quran mentions marriage in several verses, describing it as a means of attaining tranquility and comfort:  

"And of His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them." (Quran 30:21)  

### 1.2 Objectives of Marriage in Islam  

- Preserving chastity and modesty  

- Procreation and the continuation of humanity  

- Providing emotional and psychological stability  

- Moral and spiritual development  

- Establishing a healthy Islamic society  

## Chapter 2: Etiquettes of Choosing a Spouse  

### 2.1 Criteria for Selecting a Spouse in Islam  

The Prophet (pbuh) said:  

"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the one who is religious, may your hands be blessed." (Bukhari)  

This hadith indicates that while there are various criteria for choosing a spouse, religious devotion should be the priority.  

### 2.2 Etiquettes of Proposal (Khitbah)  

- Observing modesty and chastity during proposal meetings  

- Consulting experienced and religious individuals  

- Performing Istikhara (seeking divine guidance) and praying for the right choice  

- Ensuring compatibility in religious, cultural, and social matters  

## Chapter 3: Etiquettes of Engagement  

### 3.1 Definition of Engagement in Islam  

The engagement period is an opportunity for the couple to get to know each other within Islamic boundaries. This phase should not lead to inappropriate relationships.  

### 3.2 Etiquettes During Engagement  

- Maintaining boundaries and avoiding physical contact  

- Observing hijab and Islamic dress even in each other's presence  

- Avoiding unnecessary seclusion  

- Using this time to understand each other’s character and behavior  

## Chapter 4: Etiquettes of the Marriage Contract (Nikah)  

### 4.1 Conditions for a Valid Nikah  

- Verbal offer (Ijab) and acceptance (Qubul)  

- Presence of two just witnesses  

- Specification of the mahr (dowry)  

- Full consent of both parties  

### 4.2 Recommended Practices for Nikah  

- Recitation of the marriage sermon by a religious scholar  

- Hosting a Walimah (marriage feast) and feeding the believers  

- Beginning married life in the name of Allah and reciting supplications  

- Keeping the ceremony simple and avoiding unnecessary extravagance  

## Chapter 5: Etiquettes of the Wedding Night  

### 5.1 Recommended Acts on the First Night  

- The bride and groom praying two rak'ahs of gratitude  

- Reciting special supplications for the occasion  

- Showing kindness and affection to one another  

- Learning the Islamic rulings regarding marital relations  

### 5.2 Prohibitions on the Wedding Night  

- Avoiding any form of violence or disrespect  

- Refraining from inappropriate jokes  

- Not disclosing private marital details  

## Chapter 6: Etiquettes of Married Life  

### 6.1 Mutual Rights of Spouses  

- The husband’s duty to provide financial maintenance (nafaqah)  

- The wife’s duty to maintain good companionship (ta’ah)  

- The right to mutual respect and love  

- The right to raise children according to Islamic teachings

### 6.2 Etiquettes of Interaction in Marriage  

- Observing politeness in speech and behavior  

- Avoiding lies and betrayal  

- Consulting each other in important matters  

- Dividing responsibilities based on abilities  

## Chapter 7: Etiquettes of Resolving Marital Disputes  

### 7.1 Islamic Methods of Conflict Resolution  

- Respectful dialogue without insults  

- Involving mediators from both families if necessary  

- Practicing patience, forgiveness, and tolerance  

- Following Quranic advice (e.g., Surah An-Nisa 4:35)  

### 7.2 Avoiding Unnecessary Divorce  

Islam considers divorce the most disliked of permissible acts and only allows it when necessary.  

## Chapter 8: Etiquettes of Raising Children in an Islamic Family  

### 8.1 Parental Responsibilities in Islamic Upbringing  

- Choosing a good name for the child  

- Teaching Quran and Islamic knowledge from a young age  

- Leading by example rather than just preaching  

- Creating a loving and secure environment  

### 8.2 Etiquettes of Dealing with Children  

- Treating children fairly  

- Avoiding humiliation and verbal abuse  

- Giving timely encouragement  

- Applying appropriate and Sharia-compliant discipline when needed  

## Chapter 9: Economic Etiquettes in an Islamic Family  

### 9.1 Financial Management in Marriage  

- Practicing contentment and avoiding extravagance  

- Planning for savings  

- Prioritizing essential expenses  

- Contributing to charity and helping others  

### 9.2 Islamic Etiquettes of Livelihood  

- Consuming halal and avoiding doubtful earnings  

- Beginning work in the name of Allah  

- Distributing family resources justly  

- Being grateful for Allah’s blessings  

## Chapter 10: Etiquettes of Dealing with Relatives  

### 10.1 Maintaining Family Ties (Silat al-Rahim)  

- The importance of keeping in touch with parents and relatives  

- Avoiding severance of family ties  

- Assisting needy relatives  

- Respecting elders  

### 10.2 Etiquettes of Hosting and Attending Gatherings  

- Informing the host in advance  

- Being punctual  

- Avoiding unnecessary competition  

- Keeping hospitality simple  

## Conclusion  

Marriage in Islam is not merely a social contract but a sacred covenant encompassing worship, ethics, legal rights, and social responsibilities. Adhering to Islamic etiquettes in all stages of marriage and family life ensures worldly and hereafter success for couples and the Muslim community. By following these traditions, Muslim families can embody divine living on earth and raise a pious, God-conscious generation.  

## References  

- The Holy Quran  

- Nahj al-Fasahah (Sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh)  

- Wasā'il al-Shīʿa (Al-Hurr al-Amili)  

- Kitab al-Nikah (Tahrir al-Wasilah by Imam Khomeini)  

- The Islamic Family Structure (Ayatollah Murtadha Mutahhari)